Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you'd be wrong but at least you tried... Forgive the barrage of questions so early on in this month's blog but it was necessary for eroding your brain's natural educational defences for the learning to begin. Is the cup half empty or is it half full? Popular science says half full, but surely that is mostly because it keeps popular scientists popular. Unpopular scientists flaunt their doomsday algorithms and black hole suns but they never get tenure. So here we have two opposites. Those that perceive life as a series of constant opportunities and unlimited potential and those that perceive life as a constant onslaught of bad vibes and cabbage smell. This perception ultimately affects it's surrounding environment. Let me tell you a little story to demonstrate my point. So there were two gentlemen sitting at a bar. They both had identical glasses at the bar with exactly the same amount of whiskey in each. At exactly the same time they looked down and saw the glasses in front of them. One of the men says, “My glass is half empty,” and the other gentleman says, “My glass is half full.” Anyway, long story short, it turns out they had been drinking out of eachothers glasses for most of the night. Not long after, they got into a knife fight and I took the liberty of polishing off both their drinks. I say they are like the yin and the yang. The sun and the moon. Sonny and Cher. Forged together but locked in an epic battle for all eternity. If there is a battle between the two, I'm siding with the optimists (not the “Let's not do anything, I'm sure everything will work out just fine” kind, but the “I look forward to crushing the insurgents” kind). I have looked forward. I have seen what lies ahead. But who needs the bloodshed? Anyway, you can only stay optimistic for so long when you're trying to get the blood of your enemies out of your carpet. I would like to offer my solution to this monumental dilemma that could create a new dawn for mankind and usher in a time of great peace and unity. A solution to the burning cup issue. (Not the cricketers on a drunken tour in Bangkok kind). My rather modest proposal is that we distribute worldwide... smaller cups. It's the only way to settle this once and for all. If our glasses are either half full or half empty, simply reduce the size of the cups. This will ensure all the cups will be full.  The added bonus is that even though the cup is smaller, there will be many, many smaller cups for anyone who wants seconds. And that's just one of the many initiatives that roastytoasty has been greenlighted to spearhead over the coming months. We're also developing a substance known as “Parmesan 29”. A cheese so dense that even...no...I've already said too much...  Just as long as you're all aware of the high level of professionalism, discretion and attention to detai] that this webcomic is about. Yours sincerely, Dave