My friend Tennille and I went to the shops for some anticipatory emergency New Years supplies and stopped in at a bookstore along the way. It was one of those bookstores that spring up from time to time in whichever empty shopfront they can find and are gone before you realise that the last page of the book you bought is missing. Read the rest of this entry »

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a wife must be in want of good fortune. Ok, maybe not universally acknowledged but in my current state of romantic singularity it doesn’t hurt to pretend that it’s all those “relationship” jerks that are missing out on a life worth living well. Bahaha! Who’s laughing now? Not me…as I strut proudly around my bedroom in nothing but socks, eating ice cream from the tub with the end of a shoe…not me…

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Let me transport you to another time. The year is 1939 and the world is on the brink of war.
A young Adolf Hitler is throwing his weight around Europe in army form whilst an even younger nun, Maria (in human form) has found that being a governess is not what Mary Poppins would have us believe.

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Imagine you’re a by-the-book kind of cop; the kind that keeps to himself but gets the job done. Now imagine that you get into work one morning and the Captain starts screaming for you in his office because the commissioner has been breathing down his neck for your balls in a vice. Not very pleasant at all especially when he wants your gun and your badge and wants you off a case you weren’t even aware you were working on. Now let’s replace the cop with a planet and the Captain with the International Astronomical Union and the book…well that can stay the same but it will have to be edited and re-published and the gun with a…this metaphor is getting out of control… What I’m trying to get at is that Pluto never hurt anybody so why strip it of its title? Or alternately, it’s about time that useless rock did something useful with itself and maybe this is just the motivator it needs. Read the rest of this entry »

So since I have nothing to write about as such, I thought I’d tell you all a harrowing tale from my own neurotic back-catalogue. My day as an Altar boy. When I was a young boy, I lived in a fairly religious family, in a fairly religious neighbourhood in a fairly religious town. At school we learnt Religious Education and at church we learnt Religious Education. I don’t remember there being much else on at the time. Read the rest of this entry »

As Summer slips away from us here in the Southern Hemisphere and the trees are losing the will to leaf, we have started to hit that transitional phase in which we’re still wearing our summer clothes in defiance of the chill that is coming. The downside of this act of defiance is that we’re all starting to get sick again. Read the rest of this entry »

So I was thinking about exercising this week – which is half the battle; and when you consider that God is always on the side of half of the battlers I felt that in many ways I was already a winner and celebrated my moral victory with a couple of pizzas and a few beers. A victory not shared with my Wii fit. Surely the most hurtful of all the plastic boards I’ve ever stood on. Read the rest of this entry »

What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive! Am I right? Ok, I’ll elaborate a little…This week I refreshed my memory on why telling a little pork pie here and there can cause much unrest. Not just in my tummy but also in the very fabric of modern society. Read the rest of this entry »

Not my words, but the powerful europop ramblings of Eiffel 65 frontman Jeffrey Jey. His daring take on the world’s unwillingness to commit to the imminent threat of climate collapse really blew the late 90’s music scene out of the water. But now, almost a decade later, how has his legacy been continued? Read the rest of this entry »

This has to be the hardest blog I’ve written to date; not because of the content, but because (and I don’t think I’m exaggerating) it’s eleventy billion degrees in my room. There are pictures on my wall which have taken a dali-esque turn for the worst which I would take down but if I move any more than I currently am I fear I may drown in my own sweat. Oh sure, you can sit there in your air-conditioned luxury appartment/office and pour scorn on me for being so gross, but even having scorn poured on me would be refreshing. So please…do so… Read the rest of this entry »